75上 南归途中萌生奇想 年华又长徒增感伤(2/2)

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他们总担心死亡不期而至，他们时刻准备只做最重要的、最有价值的事情。而选择前者的人们命运归宿如万花筒、如秋后果，他们终其一生努力着试图过一种富有、阔绰、被众人敬仰、被亲戚羡慕的生活。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pil5aSp55qE5qCR5oSJ5oKm5LqG5Y+M55y877yM5Yas5aSp55qE5qCR5Y205Y+r6YaS5LqG54G16a2C77yb5aSP5pyr55qE6YW45p6j6K6o5aW95LqG5ZGz6JW+77yM5Yas5aSp55qE6I2G5qOY5Y205oq95omT552A55Sf5ZG95oSP5b+X44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    春天的树愉悦了双眼，冬天的树却叫醒了灵魂；夏末的酸枣讨好了味蕾，冬天的荆棘却抽打着生命意志。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aWz5Lq65Z2Q5Zyo6L2m6YeM77yM5aSx56We5Zyw5pyb552A56qX5aSW55qE5YWz5Lit5bmz5Y6f77yM6ISR5a2Q6YeM55qE55S76Z2i6Lef55S15b2x5Yqg6YCf5pKt5pS+5Ly855qE44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    女人坐在车里，失神地望着窗外的关中平原，脑子里的画面跟电影加速播放似的。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    过去的六七天，每一天都很漫长。回家后她先是去了大表哥家，找到了她多年梦寐以求的烧汤花种子；接着去了小姑家，见到了小姑和姑父那恍如隔世的衰老，认识了身世坎坷的小麦；她经过两回镇上皆赶上了集市，再次温习了一遍家乡的特产和小吃；她回到了自己出生的地方，打扫、拍照；她姗姗来迟地给父母扫了一回墓，在坟后种了一片花；她回了一趟公婆家，走了好多好多的亲戚……这些地点，曾是她前半生生命的所有空间。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    包家垣的西北坡上有一棵腰粗的桑树，长在地头的水渠里，没有人管。小时候听说学校里的同学们经常去那儿一伙一伙地采摘桑叶，自然课上一半的桑叶是那棵树上来的。到了桑葚成熟的季节，黑黑红红的一树果子，甜滋滋的、酸溜溜的，孩子偷吃一些，麻雀、乌鸦偷吃一些，蜘蛛、果虫偷吃一些，仲夏后再坏掉一些……为什么自己从来没有去看过那棵树——村里人人清楚的古老桑葚树？包晓星遗憾地笑了，望着高铁驶离的故乡笑。老房子、打麦场、小村庄、这场雪、那把种子……关于故乡的秘密，她无限好奇过，却渐渐遗忘了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5YyF5a625Z6j56a76Ieq5bex6LaK5p2l6LaK6L+c77yM55uu5LiL6auY6ZOB5omA6L+H5LiN55+l5L2V5biC5L2V5Y6/5L2V5pa55bCP5p2R44CC5Yas5pel55qE5p6j5qCR5LiD5omt5YWr5omt77yM5aaC6Lez6Iie55qE5Yek5Yew5LiA6Iis77yb5ruh55y85omA6KeB55qE54Gw6Imy6JK/6I2J77yM5aW95Ly85aSn5Zyw5LiK55qE6JK46IW+54Of6Zu+77yb6LSr55ig6Iez55m955qE5Zyf5aKZ44CB5Zyf5bSW44CB5Zyf5LiY6Zm177yM5o2n6LW35LqG5LiA5bqn5bqn5aaC6b6f6IOM5LiA6Iis55qE5bCP5p2R6JC944CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    包家垣离自己越来越远，目下高铁所过不知何市何县何方小村。冬日的枣树七扭八扭，如跳舞的凤凰一般；满眼所见的灰色蒿草，好似大地上的蒸腾烟雾；贫瘠至白的土墙、土崖、土丘陵，捧起了一座座如龟背一般的小村落。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5bSW6L6555qE5qCR6ZW/5Zyo5aSp5Zyw55u45o6l5LmL5aSE77yM5rKn5qGR5oqR5oiW5amA5aic77yM54q55aaC6buE5Zyf5Z6j5LiK55qE55S35Lq65oqR5oiW5aWz5Lq644CC55y85YmN55qE5qKv55Sw77yM5piv5LiA5Liq5Liq5bWM5Zyo5aSn5Zyw5LiK55qE6L+c5Y+k5omH6LSd77yM5piv5LiA6YGT6YGT55m75aSp55qE6YCa5aSp5aGU5LmL6Zi244CC55yL5ZGQ77yM54Gw5rqc5rqc44CB5Zyf6buE6buE55qE5qKv55Sw6YeM56eN55qE5piv5p6c5qCR77yM5rK+54K557u/6Imy44CB5Y+25a2Q6IC35ouJ55qE5qKv55Sw6YeM5YiZ5piv5bCP6bqm5ZKM5rK56I+c44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    崖边的树长在天地相接之处，沧桑抑或婀娜，犹如黄土垣上的男人抑或女人。眼前的梯田，是一个个嵌在大地上的远古扇贝，是一道道登天的通天塔之阶。看呐，灰溜溜、土黄黄的梯田里种的是果树，沾点绿色、叶子耷拉的梯田里则是小麦和油菜。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiA5p2h5p2h6Jy/6JyS57uG6ZW/5aaC6ISW6aKI6KS255qx55qE5bGx6ISK5Zyf6Lev77yM5LiA5bqn5bqn5Li655uY5bGx5bCP6Lev6L6f5Ye65YWJ5pmv55qE6LCm5Y2R5p+U6Z+n5LmL5bGx44CC5Lik5bGx5byA5aSE5piv5rKf6LC377yM5rKf6LC35bC95aS05Y+I5piv5bGx44CC5YWJ5Zyo5bGx5Lic77yM5bGx6KW/5b+n6YOB77yM5YWJ5Zyo5bGx6KW/77yM5bGx5Lic54Gw55m944CC5aaC6JmO6IOM6b6Z57q555qE5bGx6ISK5LiA6YGT5LiA6YGT44CB5LiA5p2h5LiA5p2h77yM5aaC5piv5beo5Z6L5oGQ6b6Z5LyP5Zyo5YWz5Lit5aSn5Zyw44CC6YKj5rKf6LC35rex5aSE55qE5byv5byv5omt5omt44CB5qiq5LiD56uW5YWr77yM5YOP5p6B5LqG5Lq65Lus5o6M5b+D55qE57yd6ZqZ44CB55qu5LiK55qE57q555CG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    一条条蜿蜒细长如脖颈褶皱的山脊土路，一座座为盘山小路辟出光景的谦卑柔韧之山。两山开处是沟谷，沟谷尽头又是山。光在山东，山西忧郁，光在山西，山东灰白。如虎背龙纹的山脊一道一道、一条一条，如是巨型恐龙伏在关中大地。那沟谷深处的弯弯扭扭、横七竖八，像极了人们掌心的缝隙、皮上的纹理。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    好一个黄土高原，在这里七分八裂。是盘古当初太过肆意用力，还是极端惬意、酒后坐观所致？黄土高原的山不是一栋一栋、一座一座，而是一层一层、一串一串，一条条绵延数百里，像一头一头的秦川牛拱出了一堆一堆的土疙瘩；像一群一群的土拨鼠妖怪刨出了一道一道的沟壑，像遗落的开天神斧被坏蛋所用以至于呈现出今天的局面。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6buE5Zyf6auY5Y6f77yM5bm25LiN5aOu6KeC77yM5Y205b6I57u16ZW/77yb5bm25LiN54us5qCR77yM5Y205piv576k6LGh77yb5rKh5pyJ6Imy5b2p77yM5qC85aSW56OF56S077yM5a6D57K+5YeG5Zyw5ryU57uO5LqG6KW/5YyX5Lq655qE57KX54uC5ZKM57u15bu244CB5Zui57uT5ZKM5YuH5q2m44CC56eL5Yas55qE6buE5Zyf6auY5Y6f5piv5aSp54S255qE5bGx5rC055S777yM5peg6K666LWw5Zyo5ZOq6YeM77yM55qG5Y+v55So5omL5py65qGG5Zyw5Y+W5pmv77yM6ICM5ouN5Ye65p2l55qE5q+P5LiA5bmF77yM5YOP5p6B5LqG5LqU5Luj5aSn5biI6JGj5rqQ55qE5bGx5rC05Zu+44CC5pil5aSp5aSP5aSp55qE6buE5Zyf5Z6j5piv5L2V56eN6aOO5YWJ77yM5YyF5pmT5pif5Yeg5LmO5b+Y5LqG44CC5aW55pyf5b6F5pil5aSp55qE5pWF5Lmh77yM5aW95YOP5pyf5b6F5pyq5p2l55qE6Ieq5bex5LiA5qC344CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    黄土高原，并不壮观，却很绵长；并不独树，却是群象；没有色彩，格外磅礴，它精准地演绎了西北人的粗狂和绵延、团结和勇武。秋冬的黄土高原是天然的山水画，无论走在哪里，皆可用手机框地取景，而拍出来的每一幅，像极了五代大师董源的山水图。春天夏天的黄土垣是何种风光，包晓星几乎忘了。她期待春天的故乡，好像期待未来的自己一样。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Zyo6buE5Zyf6auY5Y6f5LiK77yM5LyX56We5piv5a6J6Zey55qE77yM5Lq65rCR5piv5a6B6Z2Z55qE44CC6ICM5bm456aP77yM5q2j5piv5LqM6ICF55qE57uT5ZCI44CC6K+V5oOz5a+55bm456aP55qE6K+g6YeK77yM6L+Y5pyJ5LuA5LmI5q+U5a6J6Zey5ZKM5a6B6Z2Z5LqM6K+N5pu05Li66LS05YiH77yf6L+Z6YeM55qE5Lq65Lus5YOP6KGo5byf5ZCv5Yqf5LiA5qC36YCJ5oup5b+N5Y+X5Yqz5L2c77yM5ZKM5bCP5aeR44CB5aeR54i25LiA6Iis5LiA55Sf5riF5b+D5a+h5qyy77yM6Lef5aSn5aeR5aaI44CB5bCP6bqm5LiA5qC35a+55ZG96L+Q5LuO5LiN5aal5Y2P77yM5ZKM5qGQ55Sf5aqz5aaH44CB5aSn6KGo5auC6YKj6Iis5a+555Sf5rS75q+r5peg5oCo6KiA44CC5LuW5Lus55uv5qKi5Zub5a2j44CB5LiT5rOo5aSn5Zyw44CB56CU56m26ICV5L2c77yb5LuW5Lus5b+D5peg5peB6aqb44CB6Ieq57uZ6Ieq6Laz44CB5aeL57uI5YWz5rOo6Ieq5bex77yb5LuW5Lus5rKh5pyJ5Z+O6YeM5Lq655qE6La+6auY5rCU5piC5ZKM54Sm6JmR5Y6L5oqR77yM5LuW5Lus5rWR6Lqr5pWj5Y+R552A5LiA56eN6Ieq54S25oSJ5oKm55qE56We5LuZ5rCU5oGv44CC5LuW5Lus5piv5a6e5a6e5Zyo5Zyo55qE5Yac5rCR77yM5piv5LiN6ZyA6KaB5oCc5oKv5ZKM5biu5Yqp55qE5Yac5rCR77yM5piv5aSp55Sf5LiA5Ymv5qyi5Zac6Z2i5a6555qE5Yac5rCR44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    在黄土高原上，众神是安闲的，人民是宁静的。而幸福，正是二者的结合。试想对幸福的诠释，还有什么比安闲和宁静二词更为贴切？这里的人们像表弟启功一样选择忍受劳作，和小姑、姑父一般一生清心寡欲，跟大姑妈、小麦一样对命运从不妥协，和桐生媳妇、大表嫂那般对生活毫无怨言。他们盯梢四季、专注大地、研究耕作；他们心无旁骛、自给自足、始终关注自己；他们没有城里人的趾高气昂和焦虑压抑，他们浑身散发着一种自然愉悦的神仙气息。他们是实实在在的农民，是不需要怜悯和帮助的农民，是天生一副欢喜面容的农民。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiH6YeM5r6E56m677yM55m95LqR5oKg54S277yM5bmz6YeO5bm/5ri677yM5Y2D5LiY5byA6ZyB44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    万里澄空，白云悠然，平野广渺，千丘开霁。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiN6KeJ6Ze05bey57uP5LiL5Y2I5Lik54K55Y2K5LqG77yM6auY6ZOB56a75byA5Ye65Y+R56uZ5bey57uP5Lik5Liq6ZKf5aS05LqG44CC5YyF5pmT5pif6Z2g56qX5Z2Q552A77yM5LiA5Yqo5LiN5Yqo77yM5oCd57uq5aaC6auY6ZOB5LiA6Iis5Zyo5aSn5Zyw5LiK6aOe6amw44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    不觉间已经下午两点半了，高铁离开出发站已经两个钟头了。包晓星靠窗坐着，一动不动，思绪如高铁一般在大地上飞驰。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    女人无数次幻想过这样的生活。若干年后，攒些小钱，这些钱只为了养老，然后她携手年已花甲的钟理回到钟家湾，或者包家垣，开始两个人的晚年生活。第一件事是重修房子，请一两个工匠，买些当地建材，然后一边设计一边修建。三间简单可住的屋子足矣，坐北朝南、白墙灰瓦、木窗铁门，不需要精致漂亮但得是耐用结实。然后他们一起置办家具，桌椅板凳、床铺、厨具、农具等等干净可用便好，不需要件件崭新厉害。最后是收拾屋子，三间屋子如此分配一间他们老两口自己住，一间留给回家探望的梅梅或成成使用，一间专用来摆放杂物，比如五谷粮油、衣柜箱子等等。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    屋子四周全是空地，那空地便是他们晚年生活的全部寄托。先在屋前建一个花池，花池里一定要种上烧汤花，凡有花的世界总是诗意的。每年正月开始翻地，将屋子周边所有的地规整为一溜一溜的，屋前左右选择两小块种花草，更多的用来种瓜果蔬菜，苹果、樱桃、杏子、葡萄，果树下点播黄瓜、茄子、西红柿、黄花菜等等。屋后种一排树，包晓星早想好了——选一棵柿子树、一棵泡桐树、一棵苦楝树、一棵洋槐树。树后面开辟三四亩地，专门用来种小麦、油菜和豆类，偶尔点缀些芝麻、苜蓿、荞麦之类。屋子后面的角落上还要盖一间结实的棚屋，棚里可以养猪、牛、羊和鸡、鸭、狗。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    包晓星也曾想过第二方案，即在儿女婚嫁生子的城市外延，买一块儿院子，搭建一座浪漫小屋。屋子不用太大不必太高，一间卧室一间客厅足矣。如果有孙子孙女过来暂住，她会为他们专门盖一个四五平米的小隔间。隔间里贴上孩子们最爱的卡通墙纸，摆上几件娃儿钟爱的家具，搭一个他们向往的阳台，做一把小孩躺下可以看银河明月的摇椅，再添置一些小玩意，比如姑娘家要用的化妆台、首饰盒、小衣柜……当然，包晓星一定要在房间外面为自己开辟一片花田，不用太大七八平米足够，栽上她喜欢的栀子、丁香和月季，搭建一个耐用的竹架子，挂上她偏爱的太阳花、矮牵牛和春秋石斛……倘有可能，女人还要开垦一块足够用的田地来种小麦，也会考虑在房子四周种些青菜、土豆、红薯、豆角、南瓜或孙子们喜欢吃的果子。春天她和钟理辛勤播种，夏日闲暇可以晒些干菜、酿些面酱、腌制些肉送到城里给梅梅和学成两家，秋天跟着大自然一起收获，冬季躲在他们温暖的小房子里赏雪取暖。如果还有追求，那便是看着重孙子女们一点点长大，并努力参与他们的童年和青春。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    女人所思所想，不正是自己小时候在农村的生活嘛，为何如今变得这么艰难和奢侈。日日盼念，不如实实在在地在农村生活一段时间。包晓星两眼一睁、身子靠后、一口冷气吐出，心里咯噔一下，被自己的这个想法吓坏了。他们这些出生在七十年代、在城市混迹二十年的人们，似乎已经回不去了。可若分析，真的回不去吗？祖屋在、田地在、亲戚在，为什么自己认为自己回不去了？为什么自己不敢想象真实回到农村的生活？此时的想法有些惊人，包晓星不住地变换坐姿。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    旧灯泡、木柜子、猴王烟、老布鞋、旧茶杯……包晓星似乎还记得她第一次前往深圳之前在家里的光景。那天小姑骑车过来，专门给她烙饼，为在火车上吃。小姑给她烙完饼做花卷、煮鸡蛋，忙到了凌晨一点，那晚陪着自己入睡，第二天送自己上公交车。父亲出去打牌去了，明知第二天一早她离开村子去广东打工，他那晚依然打牌打到了凌晨三点。晓星那时已对父亲厌恶至极，她离开家的唯一动因就是远离父亲。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aaC5LuK5LiA5pWw77yM54i25Lqy5bey5Y675LiW5aSa5bm044CC56a75a6255qE5Yqo5Zug5raI5aSx5LqG77yM5YyF5pmT5pif5piv5ZCm5Lya6ICD6JmR6YeN5paw5Zue5Yiw5pWF5Lmh55Sf5rS75ZGi77yf5aWz5Lq65LiN5pWi5YaN5oOz5LqG77yM5Zug5Li65aW555qE5oOz5rOV6LaK546w5a6e5Y+v6KGM77yM6LaK5Luk5aW55LiN5a+S6ICM5qCX44CC5aW55pGH5aS05Y+r5YGc6Ieq5bex5rSq5rC05LiA6Iis55qE5oCd57u05Yay5Yqo77yM5o+Q552A5rC05p2v5Y675o6l5rC05Y675LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    如今一数，父亲已去世多年。离家的动因消失了，包晓星是否会考虑重新回到故乡生活呢？女人不敢再想了，因为她的想法越现实可行，越令她不寒而栗。她摇头叫停自己洪水一般的思维冲动，提着水杯去接水去了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    下午两三点，老马接到了快递电话。取回来拆开一看，果然是昨晚买的佛像，老头一面打量佛像像不像一面惊叹于城市的物流运输。抱着佛像在家里转了转，思来想去，老马将佛像放在了桂英床头架上。放稳以后，白头翁双手合十，朝着佛像松散不敷衍地低头三拜，口中默念阿弥陀佛。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    坐满了客人的小龙虾店、热气腾腾的麻辣烫店、三两说笑的兰州拉面、明黄色桌布的潮汕砂锅粥、明亮干净的蛋糕店、忙忙碌碌的干洗店、幽暗静谧的咖啡店、五六个人在佛前茶桌品茗的茶叶店……晚上七点，包晓棠朝姐姐家富春小区走，一路经过街边的各种店铺，热闹喧哗不绝于耳，可是她今天却格外伤感。严格来说，这伤感提早到了两三天。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuK5aSp77yM5piv5YyF5pmT5qOg55qE55Sf5pel44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    今天，是包晓棠的生日。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    她伤感于这世界上没人记得自己的生日，还是伤感于自己在这世界上可有可无、可生可死一般的卑微存在，抑或是伤感于自己从明天开始便三十三岁了。包晓棠不停地朝各家店铺外的玻璃窗上望，望的是玻璃中映射的自己，她想看看自己是否已经老了，细看自己是否有了皱纹、眼角耷拉、小腹变大……好个多情的女人。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6L+Y5aW977yM6ZWc5a2Q6YeM6L+Y5pyJ5Liq5bCP5Lq65YS/6L2s56e75LqG5aW555qE5Lyk5oSf44CC5LuW5ouJ552A6Ieq5bex77yM5a+45q2l5LiN56a744CC5oyJ54Wn5aeQ5aeQ55qE5ZCp5ZKQ77yM5piO5pep5a2m5oiQ54i354i36KaB5oyJ5pe25LiK54+t77yM5piO5aSp5aeQ5aeQ6Ieq5bex5Y676YCB5a2m5oiQ5LiK5a2m77yM5omA5Lul5pma5LiK55Sx5aW55bCG5bCP5a2p6YCB5Yiw5aeQ5aeQ6L+Z6L6544CC5b2T54S277yM5Lmd54K55LmL5ZCO77yM5pmT5qOg6L+Y6KaB5Yqo6Lqr5Y676L2m56uZ5o6l5Lq644CC5aW56K+l5bqG5bm477yM6L+Z5LiW55WM5LiK6L+Y5pyJ5LiA5Liq5Lq65Lya6K6p5aW55YW05biI5Yqo5LyX44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    还好，镜子里还有个小人儿转移了她的伤感。他拉着自己，寸步不离。按照姐姐的吩咐，明早学成爷爷要按时上班，明天姐姐自己去送学成上学，所以晚上由她将小孩送到姐姐这边。当然，九点之后，晓棠还要动身去车站接人。她该庆幸，这世界上还有一个人会让她兴师动众。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5q+U6LW35Li65aW55YW05biI5Yqo5LyX55qE5Lq677yM5Ly85LmO6K6p5aW55YW05biI5Yqo5LyX55qE5Lq65pu05byl6Laz54+N6LS144CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    比起为她兴师动众的人，似乎让她兴师动众的人更弥足珍贵。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

    女人回头看了眼学成，似笑非笑。为母者，永远将孩子摆在第一位，可是，她的孩子现在在哪里呢——天堂还是地狱？在这万千变化的世界中，有梅梅和学成这一对儿女，姐姐算是幸福的，有所期盼的。人生只要还有期盼，便不是绝望的。女人一低头，两颗泪落地。她握紧学成，加快了回家的步伐。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5q+P5Liq5Lq66YO95Lya6ICB5Y6777yM5rKn5rW35LiA57Kf55qE5aW55L2V5b+F6Ieq5L2c5aSa5oOF5ZGi44CC5Y+v5aW55rex5rex5Lyk5oSf55qE77yM5q2j5piv5rKn5rW35LiA57Kf77yM5aaC5piv5LiA5py157qv5rSB55qE5LqR77yM5aaC5piv5LiA5ru05riF5r6I55qE6Zuo77yM5aaC5piv5LiA5Liq6aOO5Y2O55qE5aW544CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

    每个人都会老去，沧海一粟的她何必自作多情呢。可她深深伤感的，正是沧海一粟，如是一朵纯洁的云，如是一滴清澈的雨，如是一个风华的她。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+77yI77yJOzwvcD4='));</script>

    （）;